Alright friends, it is well into Spring which means it’s officially Porch Season. I am super excited that we actually have a house this year that we can play with and do as we please. I’m more excited than fishermen in trout season, or a hunter in deer season. Plus there’s the added bonus that I won’t be killing anything… except a few ugly plants and hornets nests that is.
There was no porch with the townhouse, so this is my first time having a home with one. None of my apartments during college had one, and my parents only have a front stoop (although I know they dream of one day having a wrap-around). So my porchless past has brought me to an excited state. Thinking back I did spruce up the front landing nicely this time last year, however this year will be a little different…
Here’s a prime example of why I’m deeming this a Porch Renovation: the holly bush
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I don’t know why they call these holly bushes. Sure they get holly berries on them, but it truly is a vicious and unforgiving plant. It should have a meaner name. Something like Stabalot, Green Needle, or Vader Bush (for the Star Wars fans out there). I don’t care what the name becomes, Holly just sounds too friendly.
Porch Task #1 – Rip out that Green Needled-Vader-Stabalot Holly Bush. Look at the picture, that thing is blocking 1/2 of my friendly front porch. Not only is it painful to touch, it’s rude too.
Now that we know it’s Porch Renovation time at the Ringls, it’s time I get to work. It’s my day off, it’s nice out, and I borrowed my parent’s garden shears.
This has officially become a 2-part post. I will be back with my progress later today…
Update:
Okay people, that was a lot more work than I ever could have imagined!
Here is the after:
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After cutting out all the branches I started bagging them, that was seriously the most horrible experience so far in homeownership. I tried bagging the branches but had to start cutting them down to forearm-size (girl forearm, not man forearm) so that they would fit into the trash bags. Let me give you a look at how that went:

Those cheap bags are full of holes. Not just any holes either, holes that I wasn’t expecting that then cut into my legs and arms. Stupid bush. That last bag (bottom right) is full of leaves that I gathered and scooped with a shovel. That reminds me, we need a rake…