We arrived at the hospital just after 8am. We walked into the lobby and were directed to Labor & Delivery. It was nice and quiet when we approached the nurses station. They asked how they could help us and I simply responded with “I think I’m in labor”. The nurse asked who my doctor was and when I told her ‘Jenny’ she asked me what our labor plan was. I told her we weren’t using medicine or intervention and she directed us to a room we visited on our tour. The room had a laboring whirlpool tub, and plenty of room for walking around. I was ecstatic that the room was available because they only have 2 of them.
The nurse, Leah, gave me a gown to change into and said she’d come back in a few minutes to check me. I changed into the oh-so-lovely blue hospital gown, the one I brought was still in the car in our overnight bag. We decided to leave our bags in the car in case we found out this was just another false alarm. While waiting for the Leah to return I asked Stephen to pray for us. He lifted the situation up and helped give me a real peace for the situation. Whether today was the day, or not, it was all in the Lords hands. Leah came back to check and see where we stood. I was hoping I was more than a 5, 6cm would be ideal because that would mean we were probably staying and having our baby. I laid on the bed and a minutes she told us we were a 4-5. A 4 to 5, what does that even mean?! I was a little disappointed, but I wasn’t going to let it get me down. I kept walking and started reading Psalms 29 on my phone. It was then that I came across this verse: “The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.” It was just what I needed. I love how the Lord works like that, as if he knew those thousands of years ago that on November 29, 2012 I would be reading Psalms 29 and He placed that verse exactly where I would find it. Everything went so awry with Sarah’s delivery, and that reassurance was nice.
I continued walking and it really helped work through and keep my mind off the contractions. Since they strapped the cordless monitors on we could always see when they started and when they were over. It was a bit intense because they were coming every 2 to 2 1/2 minutes. I decided to grab my phone and listen to some music. Searching through my options I saw Enya and it sounded perfect. Calm and peaceful tunes, that’s exactly what I was wanting. I continued walking the same path around the room, from the door, past the bed and into the bathroom. Stephen was sitting on the couch next to the window and every time a contraction would start to work it’s way to my back I would point and he would press real firm into the spot and help relieve the pain. It was exactly what I needed. Things were going perfectly. Contractions were keeping up and growing a bit in intensity, and I was able to walk through them while Stephen helped. It was all going just the way we were hoping. Perhaps this meant we really are in labor and we’d be staying at the hospital and getting to meet our newest addition soon.
We had been there for a little over an hour when one of the nurses walked in. She said that the monitor had slipped out of place because Elanors heartbeat kept disappearing off the monitors. I remember the same thing happening when I was in the hospital to have Sarah. She came over and started playing with the little circular device and the belt they put around my belly to keep it in place. She was moving it around and watching the monitors. She made a comment about the belt being lose because I was so tiny. I instantly liked her. I stood there for a minute or two while she played with the device and asked her if it would help if I laid down. She thanked me and we got situated across the room on the bed. She reapplied some of the cold jelly to the monitors and moved them all around my lower abdomen. It was then that I started watching the screen with her waiting to see Elanors heartbeat pop back on the screen. She kept searching but nothing was appearing. Stephen walked over to the bed and stood next to me. She calmly told us that the baby probably switched positions and asked me to lay on my right side. More jelly applied, and again nothing. I moved onto my left side. Nothing. By this time 2 other nurses had come into the room. I’m pretty sure they were talking to each other, but all I remember was staring at the monitor. Elanor always had a rampant heartbeat. 155-165 bpm. At all of our doctor visits they found it right away and always commented on how strong and loud it was. Where was that beat I had grow accustomed to hearing? She couldn’t have readjusted that much. I felt Stephen grab my hand, I squeezed his back.
Time slowed down. I was living inside my head. Everything’s fine. I’m sure everything is okay. Lord, everything is okay, I trust you.
I’m not sure how long this lasted. It may have only been 5 minutes, but it felt like an hour. I just laid there waiting. Silently watching the nurses talk to one another. “We’ve lost the heartbeat on the monitor.” “Have you tried laying her backwards? Put the bed back and her feet above her head.” I remember thinking that if anything went wrong it was going to be okay. We were in the hospital, so they would save her. Save us. Am I going to have to have an emergency c-section? How long are they going to wait until they have to do more? They were getting ready to lower me backwards when it happened. A blip. The tiniest and most beautiful blip I’ve ever seen in my life. “There we go. I found her.”