It’s hard. There, I said it. This sweet new daughter of ours hasn’t even arrived yet and I am exhausted. I’m trying to cherish this last month with just having Sarah to love on and sometimes it isn’t easy. I want to nap. Not just while she naps, but all day. What did I have to complain about when I was pregnant with Sarah? I could lay on the couch, watch movies, read books, clean and organize. Now I’m lucky if we are out of our PJ’s when Stephen gets home from work. Don’t even ask if I’ve prepared dinner, hah, that’s hilarious. Our next house it going to have a much more open floor plan. One where Sarah can be playing in the living room while I try and make us food. Otherwise she has to be in the kitchen with me and wants me to hold her. She likes to know what I’m doing 24/7. I don’t even know the last time I pee’d by myself. Is it adorable when she says “bye bye peepee” when we flush the toilet, absolutely. My sister suggested I use the bathroom as an escape whenever I have the chance. Don’t rush back, just sit and chill for a bit. If only there were a couch in there… But then I’d probably never leave. After our two miscarriages I remember thinking how selfish women were when they complained about these exact things. I guess it’s inevitable to have our selfish moments.
We have around 5 weeks left until Elanor should be arriving. When we ask Sarah to say Ella she responds with “no”, but then again no has become one of her favorite words. She loves playing mommy to her baby doll she recently got. It’s heartwarming to watch, until I see her carry the baby by the feet, sit on her, or try to play with its eyeballs. Definite things to watch out for once her sister is here. She really is going to be a wonderful older sibling. However, I think it’s smart to prepare for some tough times when Sarah wants me all to herself at the exact moment I start to nurse or change Ella’s diaper. I like to be realistic. That, and I think it’s smart to begin preparing myself psychologically and emotionally for something I really can’t fathom. 2 children. I’m sure glad we live near family right now!
This pregnancy has been similar in some ways, but VERY different from the 3rd trimester forward. I have noticed my patience is shorter, which I really don’t like. I feel bad that I can’t pick Sarah up every time she asks. I want to soak in every second I can with her, but picking her up is physically on the ‘no no’ list right now. Of course I still carry her all the time, but even that isn’t as often as she’d like. Once I feel the pinching and aching in my legs/groin the carrying is done for the day. Trying to listen to my body versus my loving toddler isn’t always easy. Like I just mentioned, I’m feeling a lot more physical changes early on. Pelvic pain sort of stuff. Don’t worry, I won’t go into it more than that. If you are pregnant, or really curious you can ask me later. My midwife told me that “you never get your 1st pregnancy back.” She was for real. Our bodies remember how to stretch, mold, and drop in preparation for what’s to come. Thankfully I’ve prepared myself a lot more this go around. I’ve done a lot of reading trying to prepare myself for childbirth. I thought I ‘researched’ birth with Sarah, but I didn’t know anything compared to what I know now. It’s funny how you except everything to just ‘come naturally’ and go into the hospital thinking ‘the doctors will know what’s best’. Wow Cassie, could you be more naive?! Thankfully I learned all of the what-nots my first go around. I know there is no way to know what will happen. Anything could. I’m just glad that Stephen and I have educated ourselves this time.
Christmas should be a lot of fun.We will have a newborn and Sarah is going to love ripping all the paper from gifts. I think her favorite thing is a bag full of Kleenex or tissue paper. She’s not even 2 so she doesn’t really need anything more (except diapers, she would loooove some diapers!) ;) I have found myself wondering how parents with a lot of children love each child enough. I know we can’t comprehend the love we will feel for Elanor until she gets here, but quality time wise – how do they do it? Maybe that’s why we all have different love languages. It’s not always easy showing our loved ones how we feel for them, especially when we give and receive so differently. Maybe it’s the same with children?!
Okay, my brain just hit a dead-end so I’ll end this with a few bump pictures.
-26’ish weeks –
– 29 weeks –
– 30 weeks –
– 31 weeks –
– 32 weeks –
– 34 weeks –
– 34 weeks –
The last one was from Sunday. I was just under 35 weeks. I actually feel like most these pictures make me look smaller than I am, which is nice. I feel I should tell you that so when you see me waddling down an aisle in the grocery store you don’t have to do a double take, it really is me, I have officially entered waddling status.
Today was a long day. I had the unpleasant visitor of nausea. It hasn’t given me a break so I think it’s time to cherish an evening where I have the choice to turn in early. Gotta enjoy it while I can!
Less than 5 weeks to go… keep us in your prayers!